FULL TERM!

Can you believe it? The past few weeks especially have flown by. I've been blessed with an incredibly easy pregnancy so far — couldn't have asked for any better. The aches and pains are just now setting in, but I knew it was only a matter of time. Surely nobody completely escapes that particular pregnancy problem. I can't believe I'm so close to the end.




I got a little artsy with that last one, huh? What do you think? LOL

Actually, I'm pretty much in love with my belly right now. I think it's perfect and endlessly fascinating. The baby's movements are so strong now, and so close to the surface. So undeniably real.

I can't quite fathom that I'm going to be a mommy sometime in the next three weeks. I can't even fully wrap my head around labour and delivery, let alone how drastically my life will change once I have a newborn. It's overwhelming. It's thrilling and terrifying at the same time. I hope I can be a good mother. I hope some maternal instinct takes over and guides me whenever I'm full of doubt, which will probably be often.

I feel unprepared, like I don't know nearly enough about taking care of a baby. I don't even know enough about the stuff involved in taking care of a baby. I really don't think we have everything we'll need, but I couldn't tell you what we're missing... if that makes any sense.

Anyway. Despite the anxiety, I'm happy, and I know we'll be just fine. I can't wait to meet my (still nameless) son!

Work, Work, Work

All I want to do right now is plan for baby, prepare for baby, and daydream about baby. But instead I am still struggling to finish my last major project at work. I missed my original deadline (today) by a long shot and have promised my boss that I will absolutely be finished by the end of this week. To do so I will have to work late every night. Like I did last week. I'm so tired.

Okay, okay. I just have to get through this week and then I can relax, and in another two weeks I will be done work for a year. Imagine — a whole year!

35/35

I couldn't let this milestone pass without comment: 35 weeks down, 35 days to go. Wow! I'm going to be a mommy so soon!

Have I mentioned that apparently I've gotten huge? In the space of a month I went from comments on how small my belly is to comments on how huge it is — and, yes, at my shower last weekend, someone even uttered the dreaded "Are you sure it's not twins?"

Friday was my "surprise" work shower. It was very nice — beautifully decorated with daffodils (one of my favourites) and yellow and green tablecloths and streamers. It was a potluck lunch and everyone brought delicious things. My 33-week pregnant co-worker and I each got a little gift basket with a towel, facecloths, booties, and a Babies.R.Us gift card. One very crafty co-worker made each of us a stuffed bear. An employee who has been on maternity leave since I started there dropped by with her baby and brought each of us a beautifully wrapped gift. Mine was an adorable yellow sleeper with a mouse on it.

The tortuous part of the work shower was the attention from so many people I barely know. One co-worker kindly told me later that I turned red and splotchy and my hands were shaking as I opened the gifts. Nice. I'm just glad I was sharing the spotlight. Of course, I'm sure they wouldn't have gone to all the trouble of a shower just for me anyway. After all, I'm still the "new girl," and I haven't really made any friends.

On an unrelated side note, while chatting at the shower I learned that my team leader thought I was 23, max. For some reason that really bothers me. I'm 31. I've had my driver's licence for 15 years. I have seven years of experience working in my field. I've been married for five years. It took nearly two years to conceive this baby. Really — I've come a long way since 23.

Baby Shower!

My in-laws threw me a shower yesterday! It was very nice, with lots of good food and amazing presents. We got sooo many clothes and lots of bibs. Keith's cousin, the hostess, got us the bathtub from our registry (a big one!) and filled it with stuffed animals, onesies, and miscellaneous baby goodies. I wish I'd taken a picture before I took it apart! We are now officially overwhelmed with baby stuff. Ack! Time for some serious organization.

I found out via an email that someone neglected to pick up from the printer that my co-workers are throwing me a "surprise" baby shower this Friday. It's actually a shared shower, thankfully: another girl in my group is due just two weeks after I am, and a third had her baby a couple of weeks ago. The other two should rightfully get most of the attention. I'll be more than happy to fade into the background for that one!

Got Wheels, Will Travel!

We bought a car yesterday! After months of spinning our wheels on the issue, researching but getting nowhere, the purchase seems to have happened quite suddenly. We are the proud owners of a shiny, bright red hatchback. We are not hagglers, but I feel like we got a decent price, and it is everything we wanted (except colour; I would have preferred blue over red, but I guess you can't be picky about trivial things like that when you're buying used). Boy, it was hard to give up such a big chunk of our savings.

It looked like insurance would be a huge stumbling block, but tonight I got a fantastic quote and jumped on it. The dealer is taking care of everything else, and it's all falling into place. We should be able to pick it up on the weekend. As with most things, buying my first car was not nearly as complicated a process as I made it out to be in my head.

So, I made it to the ripe old age of 31 without ever owning a car. I have been happy enough with the public transit lifestyle. But baby changes everything, and this is no exception. Keith just got his beginner's licence and won't be able to drive alone for eight to twelve months, so the car's all mine for most of my maternity leave. I'm so excited about having the freedom to visit friends and family, most of whom live out of town, whenever I want or need company or a change of scenery.

That said, I am a nervous driver. I hope to gain confidence behind the wheel — behind my very own wheel! — but it'll take time, especially when driving on the crazy, aggressive streets of the big city with baby in tow. When Keith and I are going somewhere together we'll argue over who drives, because neither of us really wants to!

But I'm excited. Really. :)

To My TTC Friends

I struggled with conceiving this baby long enough to know that I had it easy. Sometimes I feel guilty that, having been part of the infertility community for a relatively short time, I got off so lightly. I have too many friends still in the trenches, still pouring their hearts and hopes (and money) into the dream of becoming parents.

This is a particularly exciting and eventful time for a bunch of my TTC friends. To those who have recently been blessed with BFPs — I am so very happy for you and I wish you healthy, successful pregnancies. To those who are about to undergo or have recently completed treatment — I desperately hope this is the one that makes your dreams come true.

I am not the praying sort, but my thoughts are with you, and I am here to offer whatever support I can.

Love and best wishes,

Jennifer

Pictures

30 weeks
(Well, 30w6d, to be exact. I was lazy last week.)



31 weeks
(showing off my fabulous new rocker/glider)