Knitting

Funny how being pregnant can bring out all sorts of domestic tendencies (and fantasies). I learned how to knit as a child but have done very little of it in my adult years. Last Christmas I decided I wanted to get back into it and put a few knitting books on my wish list. It took being three months pregnant, however, to finally make me pick up the needles. These hats are my first creations in more than ten years. I used the Umbilical Cord Hat pattern in Debbie Stoller's Stitch 'N Bitch book. I'm also working on the Big Bad Baby Blanket from the same book. Loving it so far!

Anticlimactic Follow-up

As usual, I was worrying excessively over something silly. Today, when my boss was handing out pay stubs, she asked me how my workload is, "now that we've loaded you up." I told her I could use some more work, actually, and she said she'd think about what she could give me. I thought, "Uh-oh, I'd better tell her before she makes any decisions!"

So I screwed up some nerve and went to see her in her office a little while later. I know she could tell I was nervous and she was SO nice! She said it's great news and must have said congratulations about a dozen times. Apparently my fill-in will start two months before I leave and stay for two months after I return (if I return, she said, adding that she very much hopes I do). By the time I return (if I return), this person will have spent several more months working on my projects than I have. That'll be a bit weird.

I'm going shopping tomorrow. I might buy my first maternity items, since most of my pants are now leaving welts on my belly after a day at the office. I'm not loving this in-between stage. I hate all my clothes and struggle every day with picking out an outfit.

Work Worries

I started a new job in June. My six-month probation doesn't end until mid-December, when I will be about 20 weeks pregnant. I don't feel comfortable waiting that long to tell. I've set 16 weeks as an arbitrary deadline, but there's a problem. I'm extremely short on work and need to ask for more. I told the boss a while ago that eventually, once I've gotten the mess I inherited cleaned up, I will need more work, so it won't come as a surprise. But I don't want to bring that up that until I spill the beans about my impending leave (one year in Canada), since that info will likely determine what kind of work the boss will want to give me.

I'm so nervous about this. Today the boss was in her office most of the day (rare) and I tried to talk myself into going in to talk to her. Instead I talked myself into waiting until next week. I'm such a coward. I got all shaky just thinking about it.

I sort of feel embarrassed and guilty, like I accepted the job under false pretenses. Won't they assume that I must have been trying? Or will they believe that I got knocked up accidentally? I'm not sure which assumption makes me look worse. Why do I even care? Yeah, that's right, the new girl's pregnant. And proud of it! I'm such an idiot. LOL

Small Milestones

Today is a doubly good day: it's my birthday (thirty-first, in case you're wondering) and also the official last day of my first trimester. Woohoo! We had a low-key celebration. Keith and I went out for dinner and then ate a little cake at home.

I bought some clothes (sweater and a couple of camisoles for layering) today, as a little birthday present to myself — NOT maternity, but I should be able to wear them for a few weeks (months?) yet. A friend sent me a gift certificate to a maternity store, and I have a shopping trip planned with another friend in a couple of weeks. You can bet I'll be buying maternity then!

In the meantime, the elastic-through-the-buttonhole trick should get me by. I did that for the first time today, and it was great. I'm in that awful "I feel fat!" phase and hate how I look in all of my clothes.

Formerly "A Life On Hold"

I guess it's time to acknowledge that the premise of my former blog title no longer applies. My previously stalled life is now moving forward at the same rate as my belly is growing. While the first trimester has dragged by, I have a feeling that things are about to pick up.

The new title I have chosen for this blog, "A New Life's Beginning," refers not only to my baby's new life, but also to my new life as a mother. So exciting!