Let's Get This Party Started

Well, I thought AF would be here by now, but no such luck. There was some ambiguous spotting on Thursday and I thought it had arrived earlier than expected, but nope. I've been crampy and headachy for days, so it seems like something's going on. I POAS (peed on a stick, for those not up to speed on the acronyms) this morning but it was a clear negative. So... I wait. My post-op appointment is on Thursday, so I guess if AF is still absent by then I can get started on Provera to bring on my next cycle, but I hope that won't be necessary.

In other news, after grappling briefly with my excessively guilty conscience, I had a job interview last week. Or, rather, a pre-interview test. I feel confident about the editing part but I'm not so sure about the writing part. I think this would be a good change for me, so I hope hope hope I make it to the next stage. I should find out this week.

This could shape up to be an eventful week. I'll keep you posted. I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats.

Trying to Kick the Habit

K and I rented Juno tonight, and we both enjoyed it. It was cute and sweet and funny, and the only character I didn't like was Vanessa, the adoptive mother, played by Jennifer Garner. I was uncomfortable with how ... fragile and desperate she seemed. Maybe I'm just afraid that will be me someday, or that others will see me that way. But I loved the title character, and the relationships seemed very real. Two thumbs up.

I have decided that the best way to make the next month until my post-op appointment go by quickly is to try to put it out of my mind as much as possible — "it" being IF and TTC. I have been completely unsuccessful with that during all previous breaks, but I'm going to give it another shot. Why is it such an all-consuming obsession? I'm going to stop temping (it's CD32 and there's no sign of o) and I'm going to try hard not to talk about "it" and to lay off the Nest. What else can I do? I will continue to take my twice-daily prenatal vitamins, of course. Luckily, if you want to call it luck, I'm desperately swamped at work and should be concentrating on that. I need to be about 300 percent more productive than I have been in recent months.

What will happen to this blog, you might wonder? Well, as I mentioned in the previous post, besides work I'm going to try to focus on losing some weight — 20 pounds to my goal weight. My cousin has been staying with us for the past month (she's 22 and size 6), and we kind of used her as an excuse to eat out a lot and to have plenty of treats and "fun food" on hand. Well, she left this morning, depriving us of our excuse. So, I guess I'll post about that once in a while.

But you'll have to allow me just one more tiny rant: I've been TTC for 18 months now, and in that time I have ovulated just five times, and I'm probably not going to ovulate again until June. That sucks ever so much.

Okay, I'm done. :)

And Another Long Wait Begins

I finally made my post-op appointment, and it's not until May 15 (which also happens to be my fourth wedding anniversary, btw). This is apparently just the way Dr. L does things — the post-op appointment is always four to six weeks after the op.

Does he not understand how incredibly frustrating this is for his patients? My last treatment cycle ended with a BFN on February 5, and then I had to wait for two months for the lap (was supposed to be 3.5 months but happily I got a cancellation spot), and now I have to wait another five weeks for the post-op. Seems a little ridiculous to me, especially considering that I'm anxious to hear his take on the endo. And then I'll probably have to take Provera to start my next cycle, so that's yet another two weeks before we can get moving again.

IUI#1 was in October, IUI#2 was in January, and now IUI#3 will be in June — sooo much waiting! I think I've been pretty patient, but at the moment I'm feeling incredibly frustrated, and sad, too. :(